Office Blues

Hunched over the desktop computer in the office with hardly any work and attempting to appear busy, I am all of a sudden seized by this moment of introspection….am I in the right place, where I am meant to be? Do I need to undergo a certain experience here, at this moment in space and time, which is to guide and lead me further ahead? Hmm, I do wonder…. Could such an unhealthy posture (there is that pain in my back and the tug in my neck that I have never felt until now, and is it my imagination or can I actually feel my backside stretching and enlarging through the long hours of contact with the chair) added to the mostly uninterrupted staring at an impersonal machine, that does at times wondrously seem to have a life of its own, be the base for a life-enriching experience for me that could open other doors to further understanding, knowledge and enlightenment and ultimately to a sense of evolving into a better human being as the years roll on by?
I look around me at my ‘associates’, each positioned in such a way that there is no scope for eye contact (except with the machine in front of them) with one another, unless a conscious effort is made to break-free from the straitjacket posture and swivel in the graciously offered ‘swivel-able’ seat (to which are glued the backsides) to exchange a few words or laughs, personal interactions often taken for granted but which serve as a lifeline to retaining sanity and being grounded to reality in such a virtual-dependant working environment.
If this is the ‘now’, what is the future going to be like?
Here we are working to earn money for our daily needs and added comforts and luxuries, but at the cost of stretching our physical body beyond its capacity of endurance in several possible ways, blunting the natural spontaneous responses and thought processes of our mind to limit and hold it within the functioning requirements and confines of the so called work space.
Instantly I realize that this is not where I am meant to be….. I understand the need for a regular income, but I also respect my mind, body and spirit individually and as a unit, well-enough to realize that ultimately personal growth and evolution comes not from a monthly paycheck, but through exercising our core being, expressing and receiving with no artificial limitations, finding joy and happiness in small non-descript events and experiences through each day, experiencing moments that touch the depths of our soul, in the process invigorating and enriching our mind-body-spirit unit.
The ideal solution would be to fit myself into a form of work that pays enough to keep me comfortably off and simultaneously helps me to respond and think as a human being, that helps me to find myself in the meaningful work that I do. I have been down such an incredibly self-discovering outward-reaching road before and maybe that is the primary reason why I am unable to connect with or relate to my present job, where I gain an income with the sole aim of trying to increase revenue for another. I am beginning to look at it as merely an added learning experience that has taught me an important lesson…. in order to value anything one does need to experience everything!
Now, all I need to do is to sift through options and decide on the right road to turn into (I know, if only it was as easy as that; but again I will never know unless I do take that turn!)….